Saturday, March 31, 2007
10:45 PM ●

Oh man

I don’t know why im like that

I think I’ve just fallen for someone I used to like in the past

What the hell is wrong with me

Crap la…

I don’t know what to do.

ARGH.

I feel so muddled

Like I’ve no where to turn

My 2 friends whom I used to rely on are no longer there

And there is no one else who would understand this

Sigh.

I would so dearly love to tell someone to get this load off my back

Sadly I cant

I feel like screaming and crying to let it out

Everytime he comes online, it aches my heart so to not talk to him

i want to forget but I cant

I nearly killed myself over the effort to act normal around him

To act indifferent everytime he talked to me

To pretend that there was nothing wrong when there was.

I hate myself for creating problems that are not supposed to exist

I so do.

Even if I tried

I cant have him anymore

His heart belongs to someone else

I feel happy for that person

Because i know he will take good care of her

Shower her with love and affection

But… my heart is screaming out with pain everytime I think of them

There are many things that I want to do

But the thing I want to do most is to tell him

Tell him…

xxxxxx

( Run to the city. )