Saturday, February 02, 2008
10:43 PM ●

yesterday night i had so much to post
but then suddenly
i forgot everything that i wanted to say
maybe its better this way
the only thing i remember is that my sis got scolded by my mom yesterday
and when my mom was scolding her
she mentioned something i said in passing
and when my sis got back from being scolded
she blamed me for making things worse
all because of one stupid sentence

what happened to the times when she gave my secret away
when she told my dad why my sms bill exploded
i got scolded and it was one of the worst in my life
i never blamed her.
when she told my mom i was talking to him
i was beaten till i nearly gave way
and yet, i still couldnt blame her
i tell my friends and they tell me to get revenge
tell on her for something big
but somehow i cant
i jsut couldnt bring myself to be as cold hearted as her
she says its for my own good but she doesnt know half of why i do these things
she doesnt understand
i could make her life as miserable as mine
and yet i cant
at least not on purpose

sometimes i wonder to myself why my life cant be perfect
maybe its because i myself make my life this way
or maybe its because i cant choose my parents
maybe i did something unforgiveable in my past life
or maybe this is retribution
but i can only guess
i'll never know why
now all i can do i try to put things right
to sort out my mind
my feelings
my priorities
to end this nightmare
and begin the dream i've long awaited.

xxxxxx

( Run to the city. )